We’ve moved beyond the, “lesser of two evils” model here in 2016. On one hand, I reject the hysterical fear mongering of the right which states that a Hillary presidency will lead to the National Guard busting in your front door to steal your guns while they force you to watch an atheist perform an abortion on your wife. I reject the laughably reactionary warning from the left that a Trump presidency will see, Free Guns for Toddlers stands on every corner being run by Klansmen against a backdrop of mile after mile of crucified immigrants. On the other hand, these cartoonish examples of extremes do not negate the fact that we have two choices which are doing their best to appeal to the extreme wings of their respective sides.

First of all, the decision not to cast my vote for Donald Trump has nothing to do with me wanting a Hillary presidency. That particular castigation has been thrown at me a number of times by rabid Trumpkins. No, I will not bend my knee and get in line with your incomprehensible lunacy so you can pretend you have a normal candidate for the next six months. You made this liberal bed, you hitched your wagons to this disingenuous star, you own it. Hell, your own man said you didn’t need us, so why do we need him?

Answer: we don’t. 

For the first time in my life as a voter, there is no lesser of two evils to choose from. They are equally as reprehensible. Thomas Sowell (one of the most brilliant men alive) said it best of Trump; “There was a time when someone who publicly mocked a handicapped man would have told us everything we needed to know about his character.” It is awfully apparent at this point, that the fact that he has said and done absolutely disgusting things over the past year is neither here nor there on the national stage. It doesn’t matter to his droves of followers who were basically equated with sociopaths by the man himself when he used the now infamous shooting-on-Fifth-Avenue line. He is a died in the wool liberal who has been a liberal his entire life. He walks back absolutely everything he says that gives me and other conservatives even the slightest glimpse of hope for his candidacy within hours of saying it. His body of work stands for itself and I don’t trust people who have made umpteen millions of dollars looking out for no one but themselves. So basically, I don’t trust millionaires, period.

Hillary is equally as nauseating. She will kowtow to special interests in a manner which would make a lobbyist blush out of thrombosis inducing cringiness. Every single move she has made over the past year is so painfully rife with pander that it is hard to take her seriously, even when she’s coughing uncontrollably. She is so loathed by her own side that she is being given a run for her money by a kindly old lunatic who looks like he’s perpetually frustrated with a jacket zipper stuck on a shirt button. Don’t misunderstand Bernie’s appeal. A very small number of his supporters are true socialists and an even smaller minority of those Bolsheviks actually have half a clue on what socialism is. He is appealing for one reason and one reason only to the majority of his supporters and moderate Democrats; he’s not her.

To reiterate my previous point: there is no lesser than equation in this election cycle.

When faced with the choice that Americans are going to have to make in November, it is easy to fall into despair. I did for a while. Until I realized the magnificent liberation that comes from being absolutely skunked. A line from Matthew Broderick’s character in the movie, The Freshman sums it up best; “there’s a kind of freedom in being completely screwed… because you know things can’t get any worse.” I can actually vote my conscience this go around. Quite frankly, the last two GOP nominees for president didn’t exactly light my sociopolitical, partisan world aflame. In fact, I wasn’t a fan of either. This year, I can honestly vote for who I think would be the best option for leader of the country. As a conservative, my vote doesn’t matter here in New England. That fact coupled with the awful choice equals total freedom. Ah, that makes it all a little better.

I will end up voting for whoever the Libertarian candidate is or perhaps write-in someone else. Because after careful consideration I’d rather throw away my vote than to cast it for someone my principles can’t reconcile. I’d rather know that I had nothing to do with our national nightmare than be part ot it. Sorry, Trumpkins and Hillbots. But my soul ain’t for sale.

Not this year anyway.