The 2016 Election and Total Freedom

May 24, 2016May 24, 2016 J.M.2016, Conservative, Donald Trump, Election, GOP, Hillary Clinton, Liberal, LibertarianLeave a comment

We’ve moved beyond the, “lesser of two evils” model here in 2016. On one hand, I reject the hysterical fear mongering of the right which states that a Hillary presidency will lead to the National Guard busting in your front door to steal your guns while they force you to watch an atheist perform an abortion on your wife. I reject the laughably reactionary warning from the left that a Trump presidency will see, Free Guns for Toddlers stands on every corner being run by Klansmen against a backdrop of mile after mile of crucified immigrants. On the other hand, these cartoonish examples of extremes do not negate the fact that we have two choices which are doing their best to appeal to the extreme wings of their respective sides.

First of all, the decision not to cast my vote for Donald Trump has nothing to do with me wanting a Hillary presidency. That particular castigation has been thrown at me a number of times by rabid Trumpkins. No, I will not bend my knee and get in line with your incomprehensible lunacy so you can pretend you have a normal candidate for the next six months. You made this liberal bed, you hitched your wagons to this disingenuous star, you own it. Hell, your own man said you didn’t need us, so why do we need him?

Answer: we don’t.

For the first time in my life as a voter, there is no lesser of two evils to choose from. They are equally as reprehensible. Thomas Sowell (one of the most brilliant men alive) said it best of Trump; “There was a time when someone who publicly mocked a handicapped man would have told us everything we needed to know about his character.” It is awfully apparent at this point, that the fact that he has said and done absolutely disgusting things over the past year is neither here nor there on the national stage. It doesn’t matter to his droves of followers who were basically equated with sociopaths by the man himself when he used the now infamous shooting-on-Fifth-Avenue line. He is a died in the wool liberal who has been a liberal his entire life. He walks back absolutely everything he says that gives me and other conservatives even the slightest glimpse of hope for his candidacy within hours of saying it. His body of work stands for itself and I don’t trust people who have made umpteen millions of dollars looking out for no one but themselves. So basically, I don’t trust millionaires, period.

Hillary is equally as nauseating. She will kowtow to special interests in a manner which would make a lobbyist blush out of thrombosis inducing cringiness. Every single move she has made over the past year is so painfully rife with pander that it is hard to take her seriously, even when she’s coughing uncontrollably. She is so loathed by her own side that she is being given a run for her money by a kindly old lunatic who looks like he’s perpetually frustrated with a jacket zipper stuck on a shirt button. Don’t misunderstand Bernie’s appeal. A very small number of his supporters are true socialists and an even smaller minority of those Bolsheviks actually have half a clue on what socialism is. He is appealing for one reason and one reason only to the majority of his supporters and moderate Democrats; he’s not her.

To reiterate my previous point: there is no lesser than equation in this election cycle.

When faced with the choice that Americans are going to have to make in November, it is easy to fall into despair. I did for a while. Until I realized the magnificent liberation that comes from being absolutely skunked. A line from Matthew Broderick’s character in the movie, The Freshman sums it up best; “there’s a kind of freedom in being completely screwed… because you know things can’t get any worse.” I can actually vote my conscience this go around. Quite frankly, the last two GOP nominees for president didn’t exactly light my sociopolitical, partisan world aflame. In fact, I wasn’t a fan of either. This year, I can honestly vote for who I think would be the best option for leader of the country. As a conservative, my vote doesn’t matter here in New England. That fact coupled with the awful choice equals total freedom. Ah, that makes it all a little better.

I will end up voting for whoever the Libertarian candidate is or perhaps write-in someone else. Because after careful consideration I’d rather throw away my vote than to cast it for someone my principles can’t reconcile. I’d rather know that I had nothing to do with our national nightmare than be part ot it. Sorry, Trumpkins and Hillbots. But my soul ain’t for sale.

Not this year anyway.

Obama’s Apology Tour 2016

May 23, 2016 J.M.Hiroshima, Japan, Military, Nagasaki, Obama, President, WWII3 Comments

The lengths to which the left will go in order to embarrass the United States never fail to astonish me. Liberalism is apparently the truest form of sadomasochism. The idea that the world will somehow open up its heart to the United States and give us great wodges of cash and candy if we simply tramp around the world-beating our chests in a collective mea culpa is comical at best and eyerollingly cringey at worst. It is never in the best interest of a country to appear like an ex who is leaving, “I am so sorry” texts in your messages at 3:45 AM. Our president doesn’t seem to care about the repercussions of appearing weak and whiney on the world stage and why should he? At this point he’s about as checked in as a high school senior in mid-May.

Obama is apologizing for the attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The fuel for this particular fire is the theory that the Second World War could have been won without dropping Fat Man and Little Boy. That coupled with a genuine disdain for the United States on the part of the left mixed with the desire to smear the past into a sludge of guilt and shame which we could never possibly be proud of. Of course, the anti-bomb argument only works if you completely discount the fanatic resistance the US military encountered during their island hopping campaign, (see; Okinawa, Iwo Jima, Peleilu) the Japanese use of suicide attackers as a viable combat tactic (see; kaitens and kamikazes) the propaganda being spewed by the Japanese government which led ordinary citizens to kill their children and then themselves instead of surrendering to Americans, (see; Saipan) the empirical evidence of horrific brutality visited on innocent people by the Japanese army (see; Nanjing) and the fact that it took two atomic blasts to force Japan’s hand. Oh and I almost forgot; the argument only works if you are in favor of starving a country to death slowly and killing them with a lot of little explosions rather than two big ones.

Although political leaders do not speak for everyone in their respective countries, the perception is that as they go, so do the people. Example; regardless of how many Russians actually support Vladimir Putin, whenever he does or says something outlandish or alarming the response is usually, ‘Russians are _____.’ So when the president apologizes to a country for dropping ordinance which facilitated the almost instantaneous end of the most horrific war in human history, we the people are apologizing by proxy in the eyes of the world. I am tired of apologizing. I am tired of apologizing for things that I feel no regret for while truly warranted apologies are left out in limbo (See; Christians / homosexuals / women in the Middle East). I wonder if the citizens of Dresden will ever get an apology.

I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone outside of a psych ward who thinks that the deaths of civilians during wartime isn’t morally reprehensible. Death is not a good thing. I repeat; death is not a good thing. Those of us who’d rather not apologize for the bombings do not love, like or even admire death. The unpleasant reality is simply this; during wartime, I am more concerned about the lives of the members of our military than the lives of the people we are fighting. It is far more dangerous and ultimately hurtful to moralize during wartime than it is to choke down and accept the fact that during war, regardless of unifrom or no uniform, people die. I am not sorry for the bombings, however I am sorry that they had to happen in the first place.

It all seems worthless to stamp feet about it at this point. By January 20^th the problem will take care of itself. At that point it’ll be up to we the people to start apologizing to the world for the next four years.

Porcelain > Knowledge

May 17, 2016May 17, 2016 J.M.Holocaust, Public Schools, SchoolLeave a comment

For the past couple of days, I have been showing the film, ‘The Pianist’ to my students. I am a high school religion teacher and my classes are made up of mainly Sophomores and Freshmen. As a religion teacher, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to illustrate the fact that the Jewish people’s struggles didn’t end after the Babylonian exile or the Roman occupation of Judea. I wanted them to see a film with gritty realism which was faithful to the actual story of one man’s survival. I wanted them to remember to never forget the Holocaust. Most importantly; I wanted them to understand that as human beings they have a sacred obligation to stand against evil whenever and wherever they see it.

It is not an easy movie to watch by any means. You do not need to be a Jew or even a student of history in order to be gut-punched by the film. Regardless, they seemed to truly enjoy it. Or enjoy it as much as a film like that can be enjoyed. In fact, my Freshmen clapped at the roll of the closing credits. Lots of questions followed. The question which was the most disturbing was asked a few times by a few different students. “Why did they do that?” They, being the Nazis and do that meaning something horrible. It dawned on me by the third time I was asked the question that they didn’t know who the Nazis were. Only a person who does not understand the depth of evil and visceral racism which permeated National Socialism would ask a question as innocently naive.

So I asked them; how many of you don’t know what the Holocaust was? To my shock and horror a number of hands came up. The rest seemed to have a hazy idea of what it was about. Only a handful of students out of all of my classes understood it sufficiently to be able to relate the horror of what they had learned to their fellow classmates. Absolutely unacceptable.

I spoke with one of our history teachers the following day and was told that the Holocaust was covered during our student’s Junior and Senior years. Well that’s good. But, what the hell is going on in our public schools? Most of our students come from the public school system. They find the transition to the Catholic school system to be challenging at first and then they adapt quickly. That is of course, after they are forced to catch up on core subjects such as English, math and science. I have had sophomores whose writing is essentially on par with a fifth or sixth grader’s. What the hell is happening?

Our school system is nothing more than a liberal proving ground. We care more about having all of our children learn in the exact same manner than what they are actually learning. We care more about possibly offending the sensibilities of students who see an American flag in the classroom than we do about the sensibilities of students in the same classroom who may have lost family defending that same flag. In the end I suppose it doesn’t matter. I, along with the history department at my school, can teach about the horrors of the Holocaust until the proverbial cows come home. The minute they get to college, their professors will tell them how Israel is an evil country. Their idea of the Jewish people will be so politicized that the lessons of the Holocaust will be lost in a broken jigsaw puzzle of progressive claptrap to the point where they no longer exist in the minds of the students at all.

But enough about what students know or what they should know or what they need to know. Lets talk about where they can shit.

A Culture of Crud

May 12, 2016May 12, 2016 J.M.Leave a comment

“George Zimmerman may have acted legally, but the man is a sociopath.” Charles C.W. Cooke, National Review

Read this first. Try to stifle your dry heaves. George Zimmerman to Auction Weapon Used in Trayvon Martin Shooting

How do you feel? Little queasy? Good. You should. We have a serious problem in this country. There is a paradigm shift which is taking place all around us as we toodle along, blissfully unaware of the impending poop storm looming in the near distance. It begs the same question I seem to be asking myself daily; how much more bullsh*t are we supposed to take before enough is enough?

I know that the Conservative pages on social media are within hours of picking this story up and running their own pieces on it. That does not bother me. It is news and it is in the public domain. What does and will bother me are the inevitable comments. The internet is tricky. It is nearly impossible to decipher what is actual sentiment and what is the regurgitation of an antagonistic troll. I guarantee for every, “this is disgusting” there will be a meme of Trayvon with something tragically snarky written. For every, “I can’t believe this” there will be a, “don’t mess around and you won’t get shot” post.

Zimmerman acted within the law. Was he right to shoot the kid? I don’t know. Legality and what is, ‘right’ aren’t always interconnected. I wasn’t there. Neither were you. However, he is an unimaginably large POS. 4 easily googleable stories to prove my point:

He shoves a cop when he’s 22. Knowing that the person he’s shoving is a cop. Please, tell me more about his subsequent love affair with law and order.
2013: Shoves a shotgun in his girlfriend’s face.
2014: Road rage incident that leads to a mountain of BS.
2015: Throws a wine bottle at his girlfriend.

Now he is selling the gun he used on a kid who was half his age because the kid was kicking the crap out of him. He picked a fight he couldn’t win. Let that sink in. We can no longer allow the absolute trash of society to be given places of even momentary prominence in the media. We can no longer allow ourselves to feed into it.

I’ll finish with this. For as long as there have been people, there have been creeps. The kind of people who would love to get their hands on a weapon if they know that it was used in a killing. Shadowy figures in an ersatz black market which is essentially seen as a sick fetish. Regardless of its potential future worth, the gun in question is a weapon that has taken a life and people drool over it. Pretty bad? Here’s the kicker; we now live in a USA where the question of whether or not to publicly auction such items off is no longer a question at all. Ah, what a time to be alive.

Extreme Begets Extremes

May 6, 2016May 6, 2016 J.M.Conservative, Election, GOP, Liberal, TrumpLeave a comment

I hate to sound like a liberal apologist. I loathe to sound like a left-winger. I cringe inwardly and outwardly when I think I remotely sound like a Salon.com contributor. But, every once in a while you have to set aside the icky feeling which springs from the question; do I sound like them, in order to make a point. With our current apparent choices for president this November, only one thing is absolutely clear; President Obama was a catastrophic cultural failure.

It is a common misconception to believe that the current state of American politics represents an unprecedented drop in political decorum. This is simply untrue. The attacks which were run against candidates and parties in the 19th century make today’s debacle seem tame by comparison. It cannot be ignored however, that while the current state of things is much different from the way it was over 116 years ago, there is still a tremendous amount of vitriol swirling around out there in the ether.

So we have what we have now. The extreme ends of both parties and ideologies are gaining an enormous amount of traction. As recently as the previous election cycle, the idea of a seriously contending Democratic candidate alluding to the virtues of socialism would have been unthinkable. At very least, the natural inclination to extol the virtues of socialism by the left and candidate would have been stifled to the point where the dirty word itself would merely have been alluded to in an attempt to pass ideology as sweet sounding policy. Now, we have a presumptive Democratic nominee who was almost beaten by a socialist. An openly socialist, socialist. It would be in the best interest of Hillary to recruit Bernie for VP but that would be career suicide for the man who built his campaign on the platform; ‘I am not like her.’ Then again, at his age, how much more career can there realistically be?

We have a presumptive Republican nominee who has been as far from conservative as a GOP candidate could possibly be. Lets use the previous comparison formula to keep things on an even playing field. As recently as the previous election cycle, the idea of a Republican candidate donating over a hundred thousand dollars to the person they are running against coupled with a solid liberal history would have been unthinkable. A candidate who literally told his supporters that they were stupid with his shooting-people-on-Fifth-Avenue analogy. There is no amount of logic, empirical evidence or outcome projections that can dislodge his rock solid support. His appeal is far easier to quantify than one would care to admit. It is not because he is a great candidate. It is not because he holds the same ideals as his supporters. It is not because he is a principled conservative. It is not because his vision for America is sustainable let alone attainable. It is because the human mind relegates reason in order to achieve its most sought after goal; instant gratification.

After almost two full terms of President Obama attempting to change the character of the United States, the frustration levels among some on the right-wing made thoughtful political calculation, analysis and reason seem almost nauseating when contrasted with the immediate release offered by a figurehead who says all of the awful things that swirled in their minds but were afraid to say. Pulling the lever for the Donald offered many disenchanted GOPers the instant gratification they desperately wanted which came after watching Romney flounder in ’12 coupled with the subsequent hurricane of Obama overreach. Donald Trump is not a presidential candidate. He is a drunken rant to your buddies after you’ve had a bad day. Or a bad seven years. The relative ease by which he sailed into the nomination is on par with the relative ease that the president’s ideological paradigm shift took root in the left over the past seven years. For every action … well you know the rest. There is an old adage which is said any number of different ways but it perfectly reflects the sentiment at the core of the Trump Train. See if this rings a bell: I knew it was a bad idea then and I know it’s a bad idea now but man, did it feel good at the time.

There are two solid facts that need to be understood by anyone who supports a candidate who could be considered politically controversial:

Political tides are cyclical. One always comes as a response to the previous.
Smugness from the previous cycle amplifies the more destructive elements and voices from each subsequent cycle.

With Trump leading the charge at least in title, you can be sure that with or without a win in November and with the appeal of socialism among the young and the reckless that are just now graduating; the push back is going to be unthinkably extreme. I have a feeling that a lot of people are going to learn those two facts the hard way. But I guess it doesn’t matter because at the time it felt great. For some people at least.

A Future Conversation With My Future Child

April 29, 2016April 29, 2016 J.M.1 Comment

Son or Daughter,

I want to explain a little bit of what life was like right before your mother and I got married in an attempt to make you understand what daddy means when he says, “the old America.” I know it sounds like I am just rattling on and on and waxing poetic about the time when your mother and I were young. But trust me when I say, this place used to be great. Let me tell you about some of the things that we had. Things that you’ll never get to enjoy, unfortunately.

Guns: I know you’ve seen police carrying them and pictures of our armed forces in action and I know you’ve seen daddy’s guns in the safe downstairs. But let me tell you, they used to be so much fun to shoot. What a fantastic way to defend yourself, your home and your loved ones. What happened was, during President Hillary Clinton’s first term, she decided to make guns incredibly difficult for law-abiding citizens to purchase. In fact, she even tried to ban handguns! Once the manufacturers started to lose enormous amounts of money, they either folded or downsized drastically. The ones that stayed alive started to produce weapons that only the super wealthy could afford. To make up for the loss of business the ammunition producers made their product ridiculously expensive and no one can afford to go shooting. Eventually sales were so restricted and the prices were so high that no one noticed when all of a sudden they became by and large illegal. I know that the criminals still have them and that seems unfair. But you are learning a valuable lesson. Whenever the government tells you they are acting in your own best interest; you are going to be put at a disadvantage. There are no more ranges or places to shoot. But let me tell you, it was a lot of fun.
Free Speech: Believe it or not, there used to be a time when you could say whatever you wanted in this country. I know, I know it sounds like I’m crazy but you could. Yes, people still got angry if they disagreed and yes sometimes people said absolutely awful, hurtful things. But it was wonderful. If you wanted to purposely hurt someone’s feelings, you could. If you wanted to extol the virtues of a horrific doctrine, you could. If you wanted to discuss what dangerously out-of-whack philosophy you believed was best for the country, you could. Openly. How could that be wonderful, you ask? See, the best part about it was that because of freedom of speech you could make up your own mind about things. The dangerous wackos were easy to spot because of it. Now we don’t know who to trust or to watch. Everyone is so quiet. I hope we don’t learn a harsh lesson about how much more dangerous silence can be than words, but I suspect that we probably will.
Christianity: This was one of my favorites. I know we still have it but did you know, back when your mother and I were younger, people weren’t afraid to talk about it? You could announce proudly that you had just come from Mass and not worry about being asked to leave whatever building or public space you were in because you were making people uncomfortable. It was a wonderful time. Much like everything else, there were people who were obnoxious about it. Some people even used it to make money and fly in the face of everything that Jes… whoops, I almost said His name, sorry again, his name taught us not to do. But much like free speech, it allowed us to examine who was honest and truthful in their efforts and who was just out to make a buck. I know you’ve read a lot about Christianity in your Crimes of Western Civilization class but I tell you this; the Crusades and the KKK do not define Christianity. Love and charity and the feeling we used to get when we were allowed to openly thank God in public for blessings defined it. Don’t believe every professor you have. They grew up listening to Nirvana, just like me.

So now, you may be asking; what happened? Why didn’t your generation try to stop it?

We tried. Desperately. We had the perfect opportunity to solidify a future for you where you’d be able to enjoy all of the things you’re missing out on. Unfortunately, there was an election where people let their emotions get the better of them. They bought into populism and in a moment of reckless abandon chose to let the lunatics run the asylum. Because people are by and large weak, those who continued to fight dropped by the wayside and one by one joined the crowd. This could have all been forgiven. However, it became unforgivable when the crowd grew larger and their fervor grew more intense, all in the face of the fact that their candidate and their pseudo-revolution was doomed to fail. All of the data at the time pointed to a landslide against the crowd and their master. Still, they pushed on. What they chose not to see was the future; a complete collapse of the check and balance that a two-party or two ideology system of government provides. They couldn’t fathom the fallout of a loss, so they denied its possibility. Once they were soundly beaten, like all proud and overly confident vanquished people, they were punished by the victors. Their revolution was labeled as the high water mark for the conservative movement. After such a rise, their defeat could be nothing less than complete and lasting. The funny thing about it was that it had nothing to do with conservatism. And now we have the world we have today. And I’m sorry.

But trust me when I say; we tried to fight against the crowd. We really did.

Welcome to the Team…

April 28, 2016 J.M.Leave a comment

My fellow Americans,

I write to you today after the whirlwind which was yesterday after I announced my candidacy for President of the United States of America. It was truly wonderful to receive so many calls, texts, emails and Facebook pokes from so many supportive people. You are the reason why we are going to win this thing.

Today I have an equally exciting announcement to make.

Yesterday, after the flurry of activity died down, I was able to take a breath and start asking myself the incredibly important question; who will accompany me on this journey to the highest office in the land? Which man or woman has the guts, the integrity, the values and the regional sensibilities which seem to be so important to Americans at this moment. After prayer, discussion and reflection, I am pleased to announce I have chosen a running mate and they have accepted the challenge.

May I present my running mate, should I achieve the Republican nomination for president…

Correct, ladies and gentlemen! May I introduce you to the next Vice President of these United States; Mr. Joseph Bologna in the 1971 classic, ‘Made for Each Other.’ Not Mr. Bologna of 1971’s ‘Made for Each Other,’ Mr. Bologna in 1971’s, ‘Made for Each Other.’ 1971 Mr. Bologna has everything that Trump supporters want, in spades! This is a war ladies and gentlemen and I need all the votes I can get! Even if that means pandering to the front runner’s constituency.

Let me run down a list of 1971 Mr. Bologna from, ‘Made for Each Other’s qualifications.

Made for Each Other was a relatively successful movie and launched the career of Mr. Bologna. Only winners like guys with great careers. Don’t you want to be a winner?
As a native of Brooklyn, 1971 Mr. Bologna has a true idea of, “New York Values.”
Even better, 1971 New York values.
Bad hair which may be a piece.
In the movie, he is volatile and ornery.
In the movie, he knows nothing about the world outside of his very own little circle of human interaction. Much like Donald Trump!

So, you see my fellow Americans, this is an enormous boost for our campaign. The avalanche of Trump supporters jumping on the Melnikov ticket after this announcement will most assuredly be enough to put us over the top in November!

Thank you for your continued support.

God Bless America, Me and 1971 Joseph Bologna from, ‘Made for Each Other.’

John

Vote For A Man Who Can Get Things Done

April 27, 2016April 27, 2016 J.M.Leave a comment

My dear fellow Americans,

I have a big announcement to make. After weeks and weeks of soulful introspection and conversation with my family, I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of the United States.

A Call to Action:

It is time for every American who still has a shred of dignity left to understand that we are going to face a choice this November which will force us to choose between the lesser of two ultimate evils. To choose between the two living, breathing epitomes of everything that is currently wrong with our beloved country. This is a daunting prospect. It is time to mobilize and put a real man with vision into the White House. A man who can get things done by being so painfully overbearing that even the most egregious examples of Washington obduracy will wither and break in front of a never-ending onslaught of condescension and sarcastic ridicule. I am that man.

A Message to Trump Supporters:

No, you are not part of a revolution. You are confused and have been taken in by a charlatan. You are easily manipulated and America’s punchline for the past 20+ years has suckered you into buying into a platform that you know will not bear fruit in this great land. You are angry at a Republican establishment that has let you down. You are upset with the anti-American rhetoric that has become the norm around the campuses of our institutions of higher learning and in our liberal media. You are slightly afraid of brown people. You are misrepresented! You have refinement. You consider yourself a foody when you order steamed dumplings instead of fried from Panda 5. You can tell the difference between Sutter Home and Gallo white zinfandel. You have culture! You hang your coat on a hook, dammit! An actual hook. Like a fish hook that you rigged up yourself. Because you were too smart to let the candy-assed kid at the Home Depot fleece you out of a hard earned $3.95. Yeah, he talked a good game and mentioned that your fish hook idea might leave you with some unwanted holes and just sounded dangerous, but what does he know? And one time, you saw a guy do a wheelie on a Suzuki on T.V. Yes, you are well-rounded individuals with a bone to pick with the establishment. But my brothers and sisters; there is still plenty of hope for you. You will be welcomed back into the fold like the prodigal son returning after taking his father’s love for granted. I will throw my blanket of acceptance over you after showering you with ridicule. I will tell you exactly what your aching and rattled sensibilities need to hear. All the while looking down at you with the utmost contempt. Not because I dislike you but because I figure you’d be used to it by now and I want to facilitate an easy transition for you. I am just that nice.

A Message to Hillary Supporters:

I will speak to you in your native tongue and then I will translate for the benefit of the readers who don’t. Gartack molok umnoya heyvar grimnok sperachtkana malashayat beerdrak gorgoth arglhath! ‘The dark lord hath abandoned his servant and thrown her to the slaves of the darkest chambers of the Kingdom of Sorrows! Wriggle free from her grasp or suffer the same!’ Ok, now that I have your attention we can talk. She is the political equivalent of a fire alarm right before you sit down to lunch. In a blizzard. She doesn’t care about you or the country as much as she cares about claiming her consolation prize for stepping down in ’08. There is not a single thing that woman has said in the past twenty years that has made any sense. You have been stuck with her. Some of you wanted Bernie but then again some people think Pepsi is better than Coke. The majority of you don’t want to vote for her. And I am here to tell you that you don’t have to. I offer you the same loving acceptance that I offered to the Trumpkins. Brothers and sisters, I am the safest safe space in the world. I will shield you from the horrors of free speech and different ideas. I will make the bad noises go away. I will welcome you with open arms. I will make all of your dreams come true and to facilitate a seamless transition from supporting Hillary, I will wear pants every day for the next year. Even in the Summer. Shhhh, sleep now little one. It’s all going to be ok. I pwomise.

What I am proposing:

Now that I have won you all over. I am proposing that you, dear reader, write my name onto your ballot this November. Take a picture and then email it to me so I have an idea of how many votes I received. Then, I will be able to tell people, “people voted for me” for years to come. Anything more than a single vote equals a collective. “People voted for me” sounds a lot better than, “I voted for myself.” This candidacy will offer the opportunity to make unfunny jokes and quips, all based on fact! People voted for me, dagnabbit! This candidacy is all about me and what I get out of it. I figured I’d be like Trump and Clinton. It seems to be working for them.

God Bless the United States of America and God Bless Me.

Yours,

John

The Alt-Right Phenomenon

April 7, 2016April 7, 2016 J.M.Leave a comment

For the past few weeks, I have been trying to wrap my head around why social libertarians and those who have now been dubbed the ‘alt-right’ have been so incredibly receptive to Donald Trump. More to the point; why the more outspoken and respected commentators in those ranks have. Let me quickly say; if you do not know who Milo Yiannopoulos, Gavin McInnes, Steven Crowder etc. are, then this post will make little to no sense to you. In a nutshell; they are young, intelligent (at times brilliant) conservative social and political commentators. They hang around news outlets and editorial poobahs such as Rebel Media, Breitbart, Bill O’Reilly, Anthony Cumia, The Blaze and a few others.

I have isolated the three reasons why they are throwing caution to the wind, which I will break down here.

Its Fun. As someone who has made it a mission to whip things up on social media I can say that without a doubt; stirring up a hornet’s nest and then watching the hornets sting each other can be fun. Mostly. Sometimes the swarm you create can get out of hand. You lose control and people start getting personal. That is when you have to dial it back a bit and if need be, douse the flame completely. However, the vitriol and snark that is coming from the alt-right is most assuredly stoking the flames to a dangerous level. When the proverbial fire burns down your own house, you have to wonder if it was worth lighting in the first place. So why are they letting it get out of control? Easy…
There are a hell of a lot of people in this country who are sick and tired of being told what they can and can’t say. If the left had its way; we wouldn’t be constitutionally protected from saying ridiculous, inflammatory and sometimes downright hurtful things. Basically, the left doesn’t want us to act immature. Noble right? The problem is; acting immature or even being immature is subjective and it is not illegal in the United States. See; Ben Affleck. The blow back against this well-intentioned locomotion has been brutal and effective. The right or alt-right does not want a nation of idiots. It does not condone ignorance nor does it deny its existence. What it has a problem with; is the moralizing and lecturing which emanates from the pulpit of the liberal left. Remember when you were a child and you were told to quiet down? Whether you did or you didn’t the fact remains that 9 times out of 10, your first instinct was get louder. I am not suggesting that the alt-right is childish, I am however pointing out the fact that learned behavior can never trump initial instinct as far as our inner desires are concerned. But to run off of the question which ended the first point: don’t they care if the fire ends up engulfing them? Well…
Probably not. I think, in their better moments, the loudest talking heads on the alt-right spectrum would admit that if it were to all fall apart, they wouldn’t mind. The backbone of the current alt-right is a feeling of disenfranchisement from the GOP coupled with a massive distrust of the government and an absolute abhorrence for what modern liberalism espouses. If, within your own view, the entire system is beyond repair and you’re merely trying to implant a stop-gap in the White House until there is a paradigm shift in the United States, the end product of your work is inconsequential.

When you have nothing to lose, the game is easy. Regardless of whether or not Trump wins the nomination, the Milo’s of the world will always have an audience of angry, jaded conservatives and libertarians. I am in no way softening to Trump and the completely asinine future for the country that he has laid out in his talking points. However, it is a lot of fun to see liberals on the verge of apoplexy when the current populist wave overtakes their narratives and overshadows them at every turn. Milo and the gang are riding the aforementioned wave at the moment and are simultaneously fighting the absurd amount of absolute garbage that has been spewed from the left for years now. Admirable, yet ultimately self-destructive I’m afraid. What do I mean by, “absolute garbage?” Here’s an example. Ask yourself; would you or anyone else have considered your answer to the question, “should men who think they are women be allowed to use a female restroom?” controversial as recently as 5 years ago? No? Welcome to modern America.

Makes sense now, doesn’t it?

Shame On You, Drudge

April 1, 2016 J.M.Catholic, Drudge, Fr. Tom, JournalismLeave a comment

On Monday morning of this week, I checked the Drudge Report as I usually do. Normally I do it to make myself angry before a long day and that probably isn’t good for my health, or my soul. But that is neither here nor there. What I saw on the banner filled me with absolute dread. “EASTER HORROR: ISIS CRUCIFIES CATHOLIC PRIEST ON GOOD FRIDAY”

If you are unaware of the situation, let me bring you up to speed. On March 4th of this year, Fr. Tom Uzhunnalil, a Catholic priest from India, was kidnapped from a retirement home in Yemen after Islamic Militants stormed the building, killing 16 including 4 nuns. A rumor started circulating that Fr. Tom was to be tortured and crucified on Good Friday. I paid close attention, checking up on the story daily. Then Good Friday came. During the Celebration of the Lord’s Passion at my Parish my family and I prayed for the priest. All day I was afraid of the news. I checked throughout the day. Nothing. The day came and went and so did the next day. Then Easter Sunday came and went and still, no news. Thank God.

So now we’re back to Monday. “Oh my God, no” I muttered to myself when I saw the headline. I immediately clicked the link and found that it was from the Mirror. Apparently, during a homily over the weekend the Cardinal of Vienna, Christoph Schönborn, had mentioned in his homily that the rumor that Fr. Tom had been crucified was valid enough to, “worry it was real.” That’s it. That was the entire sourcing for the article. So I started frantically Googling in an attempt to find out more. All the while steeling myself for the picture of the crucified priest or even worse, a video. All I could find was another article by another British newspaper which was basically a carbon copy of the Mirror article. Something smelled fishy.

If we know anything about ISIS, Al Qaeda, Al Nusra, Boko Haram (unfortunately, the list goes on) it is that they are incapable of keeping something horrific a secret. They become giddy at the sight of pain and blood. So it was odd to me that nothing was verified. Eventually, later that day the National Catholic Register reported that they had no reason to believe that Fr. Tom had been crucified. Today, April 1st (the perfect day to make Drudge look foolish) the Independent is reporting that there is now a ransom video that has been posted demanding a large sum of money for the priest’s safe return. Now, this video could be a fake. However what we do know now, is that all indications are pointing to the fact that Fr. Tom is still alive and being held captive and that there is no evidence that he had been crucified.

I understand that Drudge wants to keep their page views up. I understand that they want to remain as important to the right/alt-right as they possibly can. But when journalistic integrity takes a back seat to concrete information, you are no longer a news outlet. It was a ridiculously blatant attempt to keep people on a site which at this point relies on panic to sustain itself.

I will continue to pray for Fr. Tom and I hope that others will as well. If you have the time, say a few prayers for Drudge. I had a feeling they had collectively sold their souls when they began to worship at the altar of the lunatic in the hairpiece, but reveling in the rumor of a crucified priest… sort of confirms my suspicion.